Thursday, 30 January 2014

A Letter To My Past & Future Self

So this post is a little unlike what's recently been up on the blog, but I hope you will still like it! I'm now in my mid 20s and 30 isn't that far away, after having a bit of a melt down the other week that I didn't know what to do with my life and it was passing me by with out realising. One of my friends pulled me to the side and told me that I shouldn't be worrying about the fact I'm a little confused with life right now and just because a lot of my friends are buying houses or getting engaged shouldn't phase me. After thinking about what she said I thought how cool it would be to write a letter to my past 18 year old self and my future 33 year old self. I'm going to posting them separately otherwise it's just going to be such a long post.

This is what I had to say...

A letter to my past self - 18 years of age.

30th January 2014
Hello Laurel,

It's your future self here in 2014. Right now its a Thursday night here in my time and I'm currently watching The Little Mermaid (yes you haven't grown out of loving Disney films just yet) and what do I think you're currently doing? Well it's a Saturday in your year, so I suspect that you will probably out getting a tad bit drunk. Especially as you've just got back to university after your first break.

Well what can I tell you that is going to happen over these next 8 years!

First things first, lets get down to boys. After all you're currently experiencing your first time of hanging around with guys on a daily basis after being stuck in all girls schools for the last 15 years.
Let's just say, you are going to fall in love twice. One will be your first love (which now looking back on it, doesn't seem that much) the other will be a love that was true and real. I don't want to give too much away to you because I've learnt so much from what has happened to me. Your longest serious relationship will make you grow so much and realise that sometimes you can be a crazy jealous girlfriend (let's just say after a few drinks you think you're always right). You will have two really bad breakups, one with a guy who was a flash in a pan but he breaks your heart by text message. The other will crush you into tiny little pieces but you are doing the right thing when you initiate the break up chat. It's what comes after this break up that you realise how bloody strong you are and that it just wasn't meant to be. Yes at the time he will feel like the one and you will make plans for the future but everyone does this, don't panic! Just give your heart to anyone that you thinks deserves it & give it 100%, you never know they may surprise you.
It's not all gloom and doom when it comes to guys. You will have a few one nighters and don't feel ashamed by it (don't worry you used protection). As well as a hysterical first date with a guy you met online, you have a few too many caphrinas and had to call Emma M to come and get you. You then proceed to throw up all night meaning Em has to stay to make sure your okay. That's what life is about though, you need to go out and grab it.

Next up let's talk about friends!
All those people you said you were going to stay in contact with from sixth form? Yes you talk to around 6 of them now on a frequent basis. Your two besties Nikki and Cole are there for you a lot especially during 2013, you even go to Thailand with them. I know, bet you never thought you'd go there. 
The girls from dancing, well there your best chums in the whole world. You will talk to them all on a daily basis as well as go on so many holidays and to festivals with them. I actually don't think we could get by without them. Even though whilst your at uni, you don't speak to the girls that much when you graduate it's like nothing has changed. And now that Stacey has bought her own flat with her boyfriend it's even more fun and games!
All these friends that you are currently making at university. Well I'm going to be honest, you're only going to end up staying in contact with around 8 of them. You'll soon realise that a lot of them were just companions to while away the time whilst trying to cope with all the pressure of uni, whilst the others are you true mates and you know you can count on them.

What else can I tell you, well don't panic about the after university getting a job problem. After around 8 months of temping you actually get your first proper full time office job within in the travel industry. Yes I know it's not what you have got your heart set on right now especially with studying dance but you actually sometimes really enjoy your job and you're quite good at it as well. You've already had 4 promotions within 4 years! I know crazy right!
You are still going to fancy the pants of Zac Efron as well as dabbling with changing up you hair colour next year to a dark brown. In 2014 you actually become a red head! You will still spend way too much money on clothes but this has now spread into beauty products as well! And you're still paying off your student loan, lets hope we meet a rich man soon who will just pay it off otherwise we'll be 70 and still paying it!
Also cut back on the partying you crazy animal. You're going to almost fail if you don't spend some nights indoors with your housemates actually doing some uni work. You aren't going to listen to me, so there is no point! However you're not such a good drinker as what you are at uni, the hangovers have got worse.

You are going to have a pretty life changing accident also, don't worry it's nothing to horrific. However this is what does lead you start this little blog but unfortunately you do have to quit dancing. Yes no more competitions or teaching, it does break your heart and I'm going to be honest here you will go through a small time of having mild depression which is what caused problems with the last relationship you'll be in before this time. However once going to Thailand and reconnecting with your now single self you will realise the world is actually your oyster, so don't be afraid, don't change anything that you think is right and don't hesitate to say yes!

Also, your bedroom finally gets redecorated in 2013! I know amazing right!

Remember I Love You, and that's all you need.



And there you have it!
My letter to my 18 year old self, this post is actually quite personal to me and I did tear up a bit when reading it back. I do hope you all like it.

What advice would you give yourself at 18?
Let me know in the comments?

Until next time...
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